what goes around...

It’s Friday! I do believe me saying “Thank God” might be an understatement. I am so incredibly tired but have a billion things I want to talk about. Normally I’d do this in a bullet thing but these things will take a little more than a sentence so everyone prepare yourself…it’s going to be a long post.

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I’ve talked about it a lot on here. I beat myself up over it quite often which was evident earlier this week. I’m working really hard to deal with all my inner demons and to quit seeing food as the answer to my problems and blah blah blah. Believe it or not, this rant isn’t about me. Okay, it’s sort of about me but being the self obsessed person I am most things are. (hah, laugh people…) Nothing gets me into a state of blind fury faster than skinny chicks who say they’re fat. It makes me just want to shake them until they have some sense! If you’re 5’7’’ and weigh 125 pounds you ARE NOT FAT! I have to talk myself down, though, because we all have insecurities. Hell, who’s to say if I ever get anywhere close to that weight that I might not be exactly like her…still calling myself fat. Is it bad that I started this rant off wanting to shake a girl and now I feel the insane urge to hug her? I want to tell her “you’re great just how you are. I know you may not see it but you really, seriously are. Love who you are. Fat. Thin. Tall. Short.” …perhaps I should listen to my own advice there at the end.

Tonight is promising to be insanely busy. I’m going back to bingo with VoR. My family is making fun of me hardcore over my new found bingo obsession. I can’t help it! It’s a whole different brand of fun. You can be around people and socialize and not have drama! How great is that? Socializing! No Drama! Once bingo concludes (sidenote: I’d love to win the big pot of money on bingo that’s adding up. It’s like $1,200!), I’m head off to my brother’s house for a party. I’m not sure how long I’ll last there. I’m at least 5 years older than all of the people who will be there. I can handle it for awhile but then his little friends will start drunkenly hitting on me and it makes me feel dirty. The rest of the weekend I don’t have a ton of plans. I need to do some laundry and store some winter stuff away. There’s grocery shopping to be done (as always) and the cobwebs need swept down at the house. On Sunday I might be going fishing with a guy. We’ll see how that develops. All in all, it looks to be a good weekend!

A new development in the Gator situation: after I left on Wednesday he continued drinking though he told me he was quitting. He then made a woman cry because he’s such an asshole. I feel bad for the woman ‘cause she didn’t get he was joking but it just reaffirmed in my brain what a total and complete asshole he is. I told our mutual friend that I’ve had enough of those in my life. I can’t and won’t take another man treating me like absolute crap and, even worse, like I’m stupid. The mutual friend said that made him sad because he thought me and Gator had chemistry. I informed him that wasn’t accurate because Gator was drunk. If he saw us sober he’d know we have nothing in common and barely speak. Oh well. Yay for me and staying away!

Okay, so maybe a million was an overstatement on what all I wanted to talk about. I keep getting distracting and am trying to write this all up on my 15 minute break and get it posted so my brain is going too fast for me to keep up. Everyone have a great weekend!